Besides, even with the lousy finish, I posted a 3.78 ERA last year. My ERA was under 3.00 until mid August. If you pitch to a "quality start" each time out (3 runs over 6 innings) you'll have a 4.50 ERA!
Yeah yeah yeah, my one Cy Young caliber season (2002) was a fluke. But are you telling me NO team needs 10 wins, decent ERA and 170-190 innings out of a left handed starter with World Series experience?
Really Texas? You are loaded with talent?
Really Mets? Last I heard you were trying to reactivate Ron Darling.
Really Brewers? You can't bring this native Wisconsin boy home?
Really A's? You bring Ben Sheets aboard even though the odds are 50/50 that his arm will snap off in spring training?
Really Nationals? You don't want any experience pitchers ready to tutor Strasberg?
Really Dodgers? Is the divorce so bad that you can't bring little ole me to fill in the hole left by Randy Wolf?
Really St. Louis? Can you imagine what magic Dave Duncan can pull with me?
Come on Angels! You lost Lackey. Can't you bring me back?
For old time's sake!
So come on. I've got a left arm that can pitch. I can't hang up my spikes yet. I am a commodity.
Don't let me walk away from the game like this.
Thank you for your attention and please send all contract offers to firstname.lastname@example.org