What is harder to figure out? Dice-K or the plot of Mulholland Drive

It's hard to make the call either way. With both, every time I think I have it figured out, something totally f---ed up comes along.

With Dice-K it is "Oh he's done... no wait he looks good again... oh he'll always let up the one big innings... HOLY CRAP he nearly threw a no hitter... oh wait he's walking the ballpark."

So today he let's up 3 runs early then holds on for the win... and walks NOBODY!

I compared him to Derek Lowe earlier, but the David Lynch film is more apt.

I think I am following the plot... the hot dark haired girl has amnesia while Naomi Watts is a rube from Canada... then there is the mob... and that cowboy... and there is a super creepy guy behind a dumpster... and some hitman shoots the wrong person... and a dead body is found... then the next you know Naomi Watts IS the dead girl and everyone has different names?

Oh screw it I can't figure it out.

Which one is following a clearer progression? When you figure it out, call me. Chances are I'll have lost MY identity too.

Never mind films from 10 years ago! Let's update the tally.

DODGED A BULLET GAMES - 19

April 4 - 9-7 win against Yankees (On Opening Night, the Red Sox overcome a 5-1 Yankee lead with a game tying HR by Pedroia and a go ahead passed ball.)
April 10 - 8-3 win against Kansas City (Beckett out pitches Zack Greinke and nearly gets decapitated by a line drive.)
April 14 - 6-3 win in Minnesota. (Okajima gets Morneau to pop up with the bases loaded in the 7th and Papelbon wiggled out of a 9th inning jam.)
April 20 - 7-6 win against Texas. (Darnell McDonald introduces himself to Boston with an 8th inning game tying homer and a walk off hit in the 9th.)
April 21 - 8-7 win against Texas. (The Red Sox were down 4-0 early only to win it on Youk's 2 out 11th inning double.)
April 23 - 4-3 win against Baltimore. (The Sox blow a 3-0 lead but win it on Adrian Beltre's bases loaded walk.)

April 24 - 7-6 win against Baltimore. (The Red Sox score 6 in the 7th and hold off a late Baltimore comeback attempt.)
April 26 - 13-12 win at Toronto. (The Sox blow an early 5-0 lead but hang on for dear life in a slugfest.)
April 27 - 2-1 win at Toronto. (Buchholz holds the Jays down for 8 but it takes a bases loaded walk in the 8th to go ahead.)
April 28 - 2-0 win at Toronto. (Daniel Bard wiggles out of trouble in the 8th to help Lester shut down the Blue Jays and finish the sweep.)
May 4 - 5-1 win against the Angels. (Juan Rivera misplays Jeremy Hermedia's 2 out flyball into a 3 run game winning double)
May 5 - 3-1 win against the Angels. (Papi and Beltre homer and the Sox hang on despite squandering many potential rallies.)
May 6 - 11-6 win against the Angels. (Dice-K puts the Red Sox in a 4-0 hole before they even bat. The Sox bats respond.)
May 10 - 7-6 win against the Blue Jays. (Sox blow an early 2-0 lead, take advantage of some errors and hang on.)
May 18 - 7-5 win in New York. (Sox climb back from a 5-1 hole. A day after hitting a walk off homer, Marcus Thames drops a fly ball to start the winning rally for the Sox.)
May 25 - 2-0 win in Tampa. (Big Papi supplies all the offense as Papelbon wiggles out of a 9th inning jam.)
May 29 - 1-0 win against Kansas City. (Zack Greinke holds the Sox to one run, but they make it stick)

June 1 - 9-4 win against Oakland. (Lackey puts the Sox in a 4-0 hole but Victor Martinez goes 5-5 and the Sox score 9 runs late.)
June 2 - 6-4 win against Oakland. (Dice-K puts the Sox in a 3-0 hole before they come to bat, but come back thanks to Papi's homer.)

TEETH GRINDER GAMES - 15

April 6 - 6-4 loss against the Yankees. (Scutaro's error leads to the winning run.)
April 7 - 3-1 loss against the Yankees. (Sox leave the winning run on in the 9th only to lose on Granderson's 10th inning homer)
April 9 - 4-3 loss in Kansas City. (Bard coughs up the lead, denying Wakefield a win.)
April 17 - 3-1 loss to Tampa Bay. (The Sox can't score with the bases loaded and nobody out in the 11th... lost it in the 12th.)
April 17 - 6-5 loss to Tampa Bay. (The Red Sox comeback falls a run short, leaving two on in the 8th)
April 25 - 7-6 loss to Baltimore. (The Sox blow a 4-1 lead, leave the winning run on second in the 9th, let up 3 in the 10th and could only score 2 in the bottom of the 10th)
April 30 - 5-4 loss in Baltimore. (Tejada ties the game with a 2 out 8th inning homer and wins it with a bloop in the 10th)
May 1 - 12-9 loss in Baltimore. (Dice-K and Wakes get pounded, wasting 2 homers from Ortiz and an early 4-1 lead.)
May 2 - 3-2 loss in Baltimore. (Varitek is thrown at home trying to score with 2 outs in the 8th. Sox get swept in the 10th.
May 12 - 3-2 loss against the Blue Jays. (The Sox rally in the 9th comes up a run short and Kevin Gregg gets an ugly save.)
May 15 - 7-6 loss in Detroit. (The Sox blow a 6-1 lead and lose it on a 2 out bases loaded walk in the 12th.)
May 17 - 11-9 loss in New York. (The Sox come all the way back from a 5-0 first inning hole to take a 9-7 lead in the 9th... but Papelbon lets up a 2 run game tying shot to A-Rod and a 2 run walk off shot to Marcus Thames.)
May 21 - 5-1 loss in Philadelphia. (Big Papi's bid for a game tying 9th inning grand slam is caught at the warning track.)
May 27 - 4-3 loss to Kansas City. (Dice-K walks the go ahead run in and lets another score on a wild pitch as the Royals no name bullpen shut down the Hot Sox.)
May 28 - 12-5 loss to Kansas City. (Sox blow a 3-0 first inning lead to be blown out in Fenway.)

All the way back to +4... for the first time since May 19.

Day Game today (lucky for the Sox. With the Celtics playing today, there would be no eyes in Fenway.)

Wakes is pitching with house money as the series has already been won. Then off to Baltimore, where the Orioles have been easy to figure out.

Unlike THIS scene...


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