It might be time to implement OPERATION FAKE INJURY!

It's getting really ugly.

It's worse than "Babe Ruth as a Boston Brave" territory.

Even Papi is saying he stinks!

And I will say it...

The Red Sox need to put him on the Disabled List!

But Sully, you say, Papi isn't hurt.

Well to quote Dick Cheney.... so?

Seriously, was Phil Hughes hurt last year when the Yankees put him on the D.L.? I doubt it.

That was a "We were banking on this pitcher and he is stinking up the joint" situation where the Yankees knew that keep throwing him out there was going to kill his confidence (Todd Van Poppel anyone?) but sending him down would mean admitting failure.

So he's hurt! Yeah... that's the ticket.

The Yankees pulled that same stunt with Ching Mien Wang this year. We kept hearing "there's nothing wrong with him physically" and then BANG he's on the DL for a while.

I am convinced the Yankees suddenly found out A-Rod needed surgery once the distractions were piling up and they got wind that the drug testing in the WBC was a wee bit more strict than Bud's.

And it's not just the Yankees... last year the Indians put Joe Borowski on the DL because... well... he stunk.

So come on! Claim that Big Papi has damage in his primary ulnacartal muscle.

Do you know what the primary ulnacartal muscle is?

I didn't think so! I just made it up! But send a camera crew to Mass. General, have an actor wear a doctor's outfit and say that with a straight face!

Seriously, you'd buy it. Mass General is a pretty great hospital and chances are they would know what the primary ulnacartal muscle is and how it is vital for bat speed.

Get one of those bad ass splints for Papi to wear when he is on camera. That will explain everything!

And then here comes the painful part: 

Tell Papi it is over.

The Red Sox need to turn the page. I hinted at this during the off season, but it is time to cut bait. 

If Theo is great at anything it is knowing when the party is over. And this party is oooooover.

I mean let's list what Papi has to gain by leaving now:

- He will be the most loved Red Sox star ever. 

Notice I didn't say the best. But who is more LOVED? And before you say another name, remember fans booed Ted, Yaz and Rice.

And none of them delivered a World Series title, let alone two!

- He is not putting his Hall of Fame Candidacy in danger.

Why? 

Because he isn't going to the Hall of Fame. 

He only had five great seasons. That's not enough. 

Just ask the likes of Dale Murphy and Dave Parker whose Hall of Fame candidacies can't get off of the ground.

- The Manny Factor

I'll say it. Ortiz sees what is happening to Manny and he sees what is going to happen to Manny's legacy.

It will never be the same.

Now David Ortiz has never tested positive for anything. Guess what happens if that primary ulnacartal muscle is frayed and he misses the rest of the season?

He never will test positive for anything.

And his drop in production can be attributed to his primary ulnacartal muscle.

The Red Sox need a DH. Or maybe they can go and find a left handed platoon outfielder with Baldelli and stick J. D. Drew in the DH spot.

Maybe they can have Jonathan Van Every platoon.

Now before anyone rolls their eyes and says "You are replacing David Ortiz with Jonathan Van Every?" just remember... we're not replacing 2003-2007 David Ortiz. We're replacing 2009 David Ortiz... who has fewer homers than Jonathan Van Every!

But the Sox need to put him on the DL now. 

And don't let pesky things like "the truth" or "facts" get in the way!

Now THAT is how you lose a game!

Folks, that was NOT a teeth grinder!

I have said before, getting blown completely out of the game never frustrates me.

My mom would call a game like this one "Final Score... A Lot to Not Enough."

And friends, you can not have a more complete loss than tonight!

1 hit. No runs. So the bats were dead.

And Beckett looked awful. Final score 13 - Bagel.

Not a lot of tension. Just a day you say "Oh well... we'll get them tomorrow."

But it is nice to see that along with getting a key hit, making a clutch catch and slamming the game winning homer last night, Jonathan Van Every 2/3 scoreless innings.

THAT'S how you stay on the roster!

Put that under the DODGE A BULLET category!

OK, I REALLY thought this game was lost.

C'mon! You did too!

When the score was 5-2 in the 8th, I went into the Trader Joe's down the street to do some grocery shopping.

I came back in the car and the second I turned the car back on, I heard on my XM "And the Red Sox came ALL THE WAY BACK to tie the game."

Oh yeah. Like YOU thought Jonathan Van Every was going to be a hero!

Like I wrote... as long as the Red Sox dodge more bullets than piss me off with lost games... the Sox will do alright.

Let's update the tally board.

"DODGED A BULLET" GAMES - 4
"I'M PISSED OFF" GAME - 2

I am madly in love with this team.