10 REASONS TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND’S SERIES

Original Post Date - Friday, September 15, 2006

The Red Sox and Yankees are playing a 4 game series in mid September in Yankee Stadium and there is no buzz about it. It's a "who cares" series between one team that is gearing up for the playoffs and a Red Sox team that have phoned it in to the point where they've used up all their minutes.

Who could have predicted in August, when only a game separated the Yankees and Red Sox, that when the Sawx stormed into the Bronx in September, Boston fans across the country would say "Is anything else on?"

And that's brings up a good question:
Why should anyone be excited about this Red Sox/Yankees series, other than the possibility of another A Rod and Varitek fight?

While I should be spending this time with my wife and kids being a good father and husband instead of watching the Red Sox free fall on TV... I have found several compelling reasons to tune in:


1. KEVIN YOUKILIS MIGHT BE ATTACKED BY A WEREWOLF. After a month of injuries, heart palpitations and lymphoma, why should ANYONE be shocked at the prospect of a werewolf attack? Granted the moon hasn't been full since September 7th, but it's been that kind of year for the Red Sox.

2. ALEX RODRIGUEZ WILL PROBABLY HIT FOR THE CYCLE IN EVERY SINGLE GAME. Remember, it IS a meaningless series.

3. DAVID ORTIZ WILL HOMER 3 TIMES FOR HIS YANKEES AUDITION. If you think Steinbrenner won't eventually sign Big Papi, then you are more of an Idiot than Johnny Damon ever was!

4. BIG UNIT WILL WIN HIS 18th GAME... And probably give up 7 runs in 5 1/3 innings to "earn it" against Kyle Snyder (who will probably let up 14 runs in 1/3 of an inning). Randy Johnson could potentially win 20 games with an ERA over 5.00. I'm sure he'll be fine in the playoffs.

5. DEREK JETER MIGHT GET 50 HITS IN A 4 GAME SERIES. Not mathematically possible you say? He'll find a way, if for no other reason than to show Ortiz (his future teammate) who the MVP really is. Besides, the guy needs even MORE ammo to attact women.

6. MANNY RAMIREZ MIGHT SHOW UP TO YANKEE STADIUM IN HIS BATHROBE. Would that shock anyone?

7. KASON GABBARD CONTINUES TO BE THE MOST SUCCESSFUL PITCHER IN BASEBALL HISTORY NAMED KASON. You could look it up.

8. ANNOUNCERS WON'T BE ABLE TO BRING UP THE WORDS "CURSE" OR "BAMBINO." Maybe they'll have to actually give credit to the Yankees for being better rather than relying on ghosts and curses. But I bet Fox won't be able to resist showing the "Bucky Dent" or “Aaron Boone” clip. (Hopefully they’ll counter by also showing Dave Roberts, the A Rod slap and the greatest collapse in post season history... but probably not.)

9. THE YANKEES COULD WIN 3 OUT OF 4 AND CLINCH THE DIVISION. Which would be a humane execution for the Red Sox this year.

10. THE RED SOX COULD WIN 4 OUT OF 4 AND BEGIN THE BIGGEST COMEBACK IN BASEBALL HISTORY. Besides, if the Yankees play one game under .500 for the rest of the season, all the Red Sox have to do is go 19-3 to force a one game playoff!

Hey, stranger things have happened!
But I think the safe money is on the werewolf