Enjoying St. Louis’ misery

I really want the St. Louis Cardinals to collapse.
I am getting nothing but joy out of this freefall and each day I check the scoreboard hoping to see LaRussa and company slip on a gigantic banana peel.

And I have nothing against the people of St. Louis, who seem to be great baseball fans, nor do I really care about the Astros or ANY team in the National League Central.

I just love watching a team collapse.
And here's a dirty little secret. EVERYONE loves watching a team collapse, except when it is your own.

I'm not talking about blowing a single game... I'm talking about losing a bunch in a row and seeing a team panic and nothing, I mean NOTHING working right and a sense of impending doom engulfing a ballclub.

It's awesome to watch. When a team falls behind 1-0 and it seems like 10-0 and everyone hangs their heads in utter disbelief... it is one of the great unspoken guilty pleasures in sports.

It stimulates that same shameful part of the brain that makes us enjoy disaster films, or why they show the faces of the 4 other actors when they lose the Academy Award. We all love seeing the once confident and strong fall on their face... and flail about like a spider in the toilet about to be flushed.

The Cardinals are doing it in a spectacular manner. They dropped 8 games in the standings in 9 days for Christsake! And they've done it losing close, losing big and letting up a run the other day because the pitcher took his time covering first base.

And today the Cardinals could lose the lead all together and their hopes rest on the shoulders of Jeff Weaver, who has the emotional strength of Christopher Walken at the end of The Deer Hunter.

What makes this even more memorable was that a week or so ago, this wasn't even a race people were looking up. The Cardinals were a foregone conclusion to not only make the playoffs but host the first round. The argument FOR Pujols in the MVP race was "Well, his team is going to the playoffs." The Astros were making tee-time arrangements and going through the motions of the end of the season... now they are thinking "Holy Crap! We may win this thing!"

People remember flops like the 1964 Phillies and the 1978 Red Sox more than they remember the teams that actually won.

As a Red Sox fan, I've witnessed my fair share of collapses. Of course everyone remembers 1986 and 2003 (which was actually just one blown game and not a sustained over a long period flop). But the Red Sox have been on the positive side of several collapses as well.

Down 3-1 to the Angels and one strike from losing in 1986... and the Angels melt down. Down 2-0 to Cleveland with Pedro and Nomar hurt in 1999... only to come back and win 3-2.
Down 2-0 to Oakland in 2003, the Sox win in extra innings (on my wedding day) as the A's screw up the run from third to home twins, blow a late game 4 win and leave the bases loaded in the 9th for the clincher.

And I seem to remember the Red Sox trailing 0-3 in the 2004 ALCS against the Yankees with Rivera on the mound in the 9th.

But this is different. This is being emotionally detached and just enjoying watching a team flop. This is being a sick bastard experiencing Schadenfreude and wanting to see a team blow it big time.

It's like watching a fish flop and gasp for air on the dock.

And whether you admit it or not, it is fascinating to watch