Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Appearing at the Chuckle Hut, JAVIER VASQUEZ


When I did stand up comedy all of those years, often times I'd see a comic for the first time do a really funny bit.
And it would make a real impression on me.
And the next time I saw them on stage I'd nudge one of my friends and say "Oh listen to this guy... he's funny."

And then he'd bomb. And I'd think "Must have been the crowd... tough night."

And then I'd see him again, and he'd bomb again.

And then time after time I'd see him tank but I'd still be thinking "But this guy is funny!"
All the while denying the obvious: He's a mediocre or maybe even a bad comic that I caught having a good night.

Folks, that's Javier Vasquez.
He had a damn good year in 2001 for a bad Montreal Expos team and he's been coasting on that reputation ever since.

He had some so so years with the Expos in 2002 and 2003 but his numbers were good enough to convince the Yankees he was a better prize than Curt Schilling!

He made the All Star team in 2004 with the Yankees but pitched his way off of the rotation with a horrific second half that brought his ERA on the edge of 5.00

And Red Sox fans will forever love him for serving up two, count em, two first pitch homers to Johnny Damon in game 7 of the 2004 ALCS.

In fact the first pitch he threw was a grandslam to Damon that turned a 2-0 "this is going to be a dog fight" game into a "Holy cr@p! It's 6-0 in the second!" blow out.

But the Diamondbacks were convinced he was good enough to be the crown jewel in the Randy Johnson trade.
A medicore season in Phoenix later the White Sox were convinced he was the guy to give their World Series title winning team depth.

He was horrible the second half of 2006 when the White Sox faded... and was HORRIBLE down the stretch last year... almost costing the White Sox the division.

Ozzie Guillen called him out, and as usual Ozzie was 100 % when he said "What you see is what you get with Javy."

He's not a good pitcher.
I don't know how many medicore seasons he has to have in a row before people realize he is what he is... a guy who will go up there and pitch a season and let up a run every other inning.

Now the Braves are taking a chance on him.

They saw him be really funny once.

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