Friday, March 28, 2008

SULLY'S INSANELY LONG FAN BASE PREVIEW FOR THE SEASON



Well, the net is filled with forecasts and predictions for 2008.
I'll make mine, but let's face it... you can't possibly predict what happens over a 162 game season.

Oh, I guess you saw the Tigers and Mets collapsing, the Red Sox nearly going wire to wire and the Diamondbacks and Rockies being the two best teams in the NL!

So we here at Sully Baseball do things a little differently.

Instead of forecasting how the teams will do, I try to figure out what a championship will affect the team and its players.

Let's get started



Arizona Diamondbacks

Team's Last Title:
2001

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
None. This is a young team folks

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Brandon Webb is putting together a nice career. It's early but some World Series glory now will go a long way.

Randy Johnson. His resume is already overwhelming, but how could another ring hurt?

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Manager Bob Melvin, who let Jose Valverde throw 4,291 pitches in game 2 of last year's NLCS, blowing the D'Backs best chance to make it a series.


Fan base's last title:
The 2001 World Series.

Who could root AGAINST them:
Fans of a team formed before 1998 who want a single title.
Mongoose.

Outlook:
Despite having the best record in the NL and homefield in the NLCS, the D'Backs couldn't sell out their home games. Dibble and Kennedy said "The fans haven't warmed up to the team yet." If you can't embrace a team in the playoffs, then maybe you can live through another year without a title. Besides, this city would probably trade another D'Back title for a Suns NBA Championship.




Atlanta Braves

Team's Last Title:
1995

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Mike Hampton
Mark Kotsay

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Tim Hudson if he is the ace.
Chipper Jones and John Smoltz... nothing like padding the ole resume
Bobby Cox... who will have the words "He only won it once" removed from his resume.


Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Alejandro Pena, Jeff Reardon, Kerry Lightenberg, Mark Wohlers, John Rocker, Kyle Farnsworth, Joey Devine and every other reliever who blew games for the Braves during their playoff run.

Fan base's last title:
1995

Who could root AGAINST them:
People who root for teams where the fans actually show up to playoff games.
Native Americans.
People who are sick of Ted Turner

Outlook:
It's hard to feel bad for a fanbase who couldn't sell out their own playoff games. Who knows if they would get excited for a title in 2008? I'm sure Jimmy Carter will be happy.



Baltimore Orioles

Team's Last Title:
1983

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Chad Bradford
Jay Payton

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
If there is a Hall of Famer on this roster, he's a rookie or a second year player. So let me bold and say:
Adam Jones

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Peter Angelos, who has run one of the proudest franchises in the game into the ground and made one of the most loyal fanbases in baseball stay home.

Fan base's last title:
Baltimore Ravens winning the 2001 Super Bowl.

Who could root AGAINST them:
Anyone who has a pathological hatred of Peter Angelos... which right now is everyone in the city of Baltimore

Outlook:
Orioles fans are dying for their team to be relevant again and when they contend, they will sell out every game. But it will take nothing less than a title to have anything resembling good will towards Angelos.



Boston Red Sox... oh I'm sorry... The Defending World Champion Boston Red Sox


Team's Last Title:
1918... oh wait I'm sorry. 2004.... oh wait I'm sorry 2007

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Sean Casey...
That's a hell of a rallying cry. Win one for Sean Casey

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Having 3 rings will go a long way for David Ortiz's Hall of Fame campaign.
Same will go for Josh Beckett.
It's early but piling up rings early can only help for Dustin Pedroia and Jonathan Papelbon.
Manny Ramirez will have to commit a felony to be out of the World Series.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Daisuke Matsusaka. He had an OK first season and won 2 post season games including ALCS Game 7, but he still has the stigma of being overpaid. A second ring will silence any critics.


Fan base's last title:
Thanks to the New York Giants, it remains the 2007 World Series. But don't count out the Celtics!


Who could root AGAINST them:

The Steinbrenner family.
Everyone who hates Red Sox fans, which seems to be everyone these days.

Outlook:
I'm the wrong guy to ask... but another Sox title will mean this team is a dynasty. You think we're obnoxious NOW? Just wait! We went from wanting just one title in our lifetime to doing the math in our head to see how long it would get to title #26.



California Angels (which is what they should be called)

Team's Last Title:
2002 (don't remind my dad)

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Kelvim Escobar... but he might be gone for the year
Darren Oliver
Justin Speier
Vlad Guerrero
Torii Hunter


Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Vladimir Guerrero
Francisco Rodriguez could use a second one.


Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:

Francisco Rodriguez after coughing up Manny's walk off last year.
Josh Paul for walking off the field after AJ Pierzynski's 9th inning strike out allowing him to reach first and start a game winning rally. (Yeah, I remember this stuff)

Fan base's last title:
The Anaheim Mighty Ducks won the Stanley Cup last year. Yeah, I count hockey

Who could root AGAINST them:
Oakland A's fans... San Francisco Giants fans... LA Dodgers fans...
People who HATE Gene Autry songs.

Outlook:
Angel fans have come out in droves for a perennial contender... but last year with the Halos down 2-0 to the Red Sox, fans had signs that read "Thanks For The Great Season." That doesn't strike me as the hungriest fan base in the country.




Chicago Cubs

Team's Last Title: 1908. Yup, it's been 100 years

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Ryan Dempster
Scott Eyre
Bobby Howry
Jon Leiber
Kerry Wood
Henry Blanco
Mark DeRosa
Daryle Ward

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Alfonso Soriano was a September call up for the 1999 and 2000 Yankees, but he needs to earn this ring.
A ring would go a long way for Carlos Zambrano

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Where to start?

That guy with the Billy Goat.
Leo the Lip for the 1969 collapse.
Lee Smith and Leon Durham for the 1984 collapse
Don Zimmer and Mitch Williams for the 1989 collapse.
And Steve Bartman could get some peace.

Fan base's last title:
I'm guessing that not a lot of Cubs fans saw the White Sox win in 2005 and thought "We Won!" So let's go back to the 1998 Bulls.


Who could root AGAINST them:
Cardinal fans
White Sox fans who want to rub it into Cubs fans faces a little more
People want to see little children cry and baby ducklings die.

Outlook:
The "we're happy even when the Cubs lose" happy go lucky attitude that North Side fans had for so long is fading fast. Cubs fans seem a lot angrier these days... waiting 100 years for a title will do that to you. And since the collapse of 2003, they have seen their American League counterpart in breaking hearts, the Red Sox, have two parades... their mean cousin from the South Side, the White Sox celebrate... their rival Cardinals win a title... the tandem of Wood and Prior explode from injury... Sammy Sosa went from all time beloved Cub to persona non grata and the Cubs were swept so fast from last years playoffs that Dane Cook couldn't even do a crappy promo for them. It's been a Century and Cubs fans don't need a hug nor a beer... they need a parade. And they need it soon!



Chicago White Sox

Team's Last Title: 2005

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Javier Vasquez
Jim Thome

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Jim Thome needs to not only win but be a big part of a title team
Ozzie Guillen. He might be a pain, but winning twice in Chicago would be quite a feat.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Ozzie Guillen. His style was beloved when they won the World Series but now has him on the hot seat.

Fan base's last title:
2005. The team video is still available at Borders

Who could root AGAINST them:
Cub fans who can't stand the sight of ANOTHER parade in Chicago.
People who hate Journey

Outlook:
White Sox fans looked like they were going to be experiencing a potential repeat title before a late season swoon in 2006. While Sox fans will be into the season, if their team stinks there will be a sensation of just wanting the Cubs to not make the playoffs. It must be fun to have that title to rub in their faces.




Cincinnati Reds

Team's Last Title:
1990

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Javier Valentin
Juan Castro
Scott Hatteberg
Ken Griffey Jr.

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Ken Griffey Jr, not that he needs it

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Former GM Dan O'Brien who just couldn't do anything right and took a team that nearly made the 1999 playoffs into a dreadful club this whole decade.

Fan base's last title:
The 1990 World Series.

Who could root AGAINST them:
People who think their name is pro Communist
People who want to keep harping about how small market teams can't compete.
People who don't like WKRP in Cincinnati

Outlook:

Reds fans, like Orioles fans, are drooling to have a team to embrace. They have a great new park and Griffey Jr, who is one of the few superstars that hasn't received as much as a suspicious whisper in the steroid scandal. If the Reds put a winner on the field, The Great American Ballpark will be filled every night.



Cleveland Indians

Team's Last Title:
1948

10 season+ veterans without a ring:

Joe Borowski
Paul Byrd

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
If any of their stars, such as C. C. Sabathia, Grady Sizemore, Victor Martinez and Ryan Garko, want to get in, winning a ring in Cleveland will go a long way

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
A few...
Vic Wertz
Jose Mesa
Third base coach Joel Skinner
Everyone who has worn a Cleveland uniform in anysport since 1964... including LeBron James.

Fan base's last title:
1964 Browns winning the NFL title

Who could root AGAINST them:
Sensitive native Americans
Depressed people who want to be able to say "Hey, at least I'm not a Cleveland Sports Fan!"

Outlook:
More than any city in the country, Cleveland needs a title. NOW! 44 year old Clevelanders can say "No team of mine has won in my lifetime." That's insane. That puts Bambino Curses and Billy Goats to shame. Seriously, I think Cleveland is almost numb to the losing. Enough is enough.


Colorado Rockies

Team's Last Title:
Never won a World Series

10 season+ veterans without a ring:

Todd Helton

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:

Todd Helton
And yeah it's early, but it would behoove Troy Tulowitski to get that ring early

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
The 2007 Rockies pitching staff and their 7.68 World Series ERA

Fan base's last title:
2001 Stanley Cup Champion Colorado Avalanche

Who could root AGAINST them:
People who think that purple does not belong on a baseball uniform
People who hate John Denver

Outlook:
Denver is an underrated sports town, but I know some people who grew up in Denver. I bet they'd take a perfect pre season for the Broncos than a World Series title.


Detroit Tigers

Team's Last Title:
1984

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Todd Jones
Carlos Guillen
Placido Polanco
Magglio Ordonez

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Another would help Gary Sheffield, although being connected to BALCO doesn't help.
Another for Pudge Rodriguez would be nice padding of the resume.
Magglio Ordonez could use it.
Miguel Cabrera could use a second ring
It's early in Justin Verlander's case, but never to early to get that ring out of the way.
And Jim Leyland is a lock if he wins in both leagues.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
The 2006 Tigers pitching staff, whose Bad News Bears-esque fielding basically cost them the World Series

Fan base's last title:
2004 Pistons... but look out for this year's Pistons and Red Wings

Who could root AGAINST them:
Marlins fans who hate to see former World Series heroes Sheffield, Renteria, Willis, Cabrera and manager Leyland in another uniform.
Boston fans who might come to the realization that Detroit is actually the city of champions this decade.

Outlook:
GM Dombrowski has pushed the chips all in this year and the fans of Detroit have embraced the team. Watching the dormant Tiger fans is great for baseball and they would go nuts for a Tiger title. Let's face it, the city needs all the good news it can get!





Florida Marlins

Team's Last Title:
2003

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
None.
Zilch.
This is one young team.

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
It's early for Hanley Ramirez but it would behoove him to get a ring before leaving Florida (presumably to Detroit)
Luis Gonzalez is already a World Series hero... do it again and maybe the Hall will call.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Marlins management for dismantling another World Champion.

Fan base's last title:
2006 Miami Heat... also dismantled. Why don't people like to stay in Miami?

Who could root AGAINST them:
Cub, Indian and Giant fans who all saw their title dreams blow up to a team with no fan base, no stadium and no following.
People who hate the color teal.

Outlook:
The Marlins are the strangest franchise in any of the 4 major sports in that they are a symbol of futility, except when they are winning multiple World Series. The fans won't care nor will they show up until the World Series. Remember when everyone thought Miami was going to be a great baseball city?



Houston Astros

Team's Last Title:
Never won a World Series

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Doug Brocail
Woody Williams
Mark Loretta
Miguel Tejada

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:

Roy Oswalt is putting together a hell of a resume. A ring would help.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Brad Lidge. It's one thing to let up a huge homer to Albert Pujols. But to then let up a walk off to Scott Podsednik, who had as many homers as me that regular season... and then 2 games later cough up the World Series winning hit? Folks, THAT is a hook.

Fan base's last title:
The back to back titles for the Rockets in 1994 and 1995

Who could root AGAINST them:
Still bitter Enron shareholders
People who really love the Orange rainbow uniforms

Outlook:
Let's face it, Houston is not a baseball town and they'd probably trade an Astros World Series win for a Houston Texans Super Bowl. But since the Astros have been in town the longest and have the deepest roots (lest we forget the franchise is 46 years old) a championship would be most welcome deep in the heart of Texas (clap clap clap clap).





Kansas City Royals

Team's Last Title:
1985

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Ron Mahay
Brett Tomko
Mark Grudzielanek
Jose Guillen

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Hall of Famers? On the Royals? Maybe Alex Gordon will be the next Mike Schmidt...
If so, get that ring!

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Anyone involved in Royals management after Ewing Kaufmann's death. The Royals were one of the marquee powerhouse teams of my youth. Now they are synonymous with futility.

Fan base's last title:
1985 World Series

Who could root AGAINST them:
Cardinal fans still angry about Don Denkinger

Outlook:
Like Cincinnati and Baltimore, Kansas City is a great baseball town dying to have a team to root for. When they contended in 2003, they had an electric following. A revived Kansas City fanbase is good for baseball.




Los Angeles Dodgers

Team's Last Title:
1988

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Esteban Loaiza
Jason Schmidt
Nomar Garciaparra
Jeff Kent
Mark Sweeney
Andruw Jones

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
If Andruw Jones ever wants to get in, he'll need a big series.
Same goes for Jeff Kent
Young stars like Russell Martin and Andre Ethier would get a boost from an early ring

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Every manager they've had since Tommy Lasorda. The Dodgers have played in 3 post seasons since he retired and they've won a grand total of 1 playoff game.

Fan base's last title:
2002 Los Angeles Lakers (no, I am not counting the Mighty Ducks for Los Angeles.)

Who could root AGAINST them:
Giants fans who have been waiting 50 years for 1 title in San Francisco.
Anyone in Brooklyn who hasn't forgiven them after 50 years.
The Steinbrenner family who don't want to look bad for letting Torre go

Outlook:
Remember the clip of the Kirk Gibson home run? When you see the ball sailing over Canseco's head into the stands, you can also see there are people already in the parking lot leaving. You really think that fan base gives a damn?



Milwaukee Brewers

Team's Last Title:
Never won a World Series

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Solomon Torres
Jason Kendall
Mike Cameron

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Prince Fielder needs a World Series ring to rub into his dad's face.
Young stars like Ben Sheets, J. J. Hardy and Rickie Weeks should get that ring out of the way

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Bud Selig for being a colluding creep when the Brewers actually had a contender.

Fan base's last title:
1997 Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers.

Who could root AGAINST them:
Lovers of fine wine.
People who hate Bob Ueker

Outlook:
Milwaukee should be a great baseball town and they should form a great rivalry with the Cubs. My friend the great Rob Paravonian once told me "Women in Wisconsin are only interested in Brett Favre and the only reason they talk to you is because Brett Favre isn't in the room." Well Brett is gone... no better time for the fan base to fall in love with baseball



Minnesota Twins

Team's Last Title:
1991

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Dennys Reyes


Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Young stats like Delmon Young, Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau are off to good starts. Nothing like an early ring to make their case even better.
Joe Nathan needs to be on the mound for a World Series win to be in any conversation

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Johan Santana, Eddie Guardado, Torii Hunter and everyone else who couldn't get it done with the most recent group of Twins

Carl Pohlad for threatening to contract the team

Fan base's last title:
1991 World Series

Who could root AGAINST them:
People who hate twins...
Triplets

Outlook:
Twin fans have been burned by free agency and economics, but a title this year would make them the only team to win a World Series in the 1980s, 1990s and 2000s. Not even the Yankees can say that. Wouldn't it be nice to see the once retractable Twins rub it in the big market teams?



New York Mets

Team's Last Title:
1986

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Billy Wagner
Carlos DelGado
Damion Easley
Marlon Anderson
Carlos Beltran

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Pedro Martinez is already in, but how could another ring hurt?
Johan Santana already has an amazing case at this point in his career. Winning titles in New York tend to give you a boost.
El Duque Hernandez doesn't have the resume, but this would be his fifth ring!
Veterans like Carlos BEltran and Carlos DelGado need a ring to be in the conversation.
As for Jose Reyes and David Wright, winning a title early in New York can only add to their legend. (Yes, legend.)

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Carlos Beltran for looking at called third in 2006
The entire 2007 Mets for a collapse that only gets more incredible the more you think of it

Fan base's last title:
For Met fans who are also Giants fans... this last Super Bowl
For Met fans who are also Devils fans... 2003 Stanley Cup
For Met fans who are also Rangers fans... 1994 Stanley Cup
For Met fans who are also Knicks and Jets fans... pray for them

Who could root AGAINST them:
Yankee fans who are already getting it from Red Sox fans
Phillies fans who want someone to pick on

Outlook:
There's a little bit of pushing all the chips to the center of the table with this Mets team and Met fans know it. They can be a bitter angry group and want to rub it in both Yankee fans and Phillie fans faces. Man, they sound the way we Red Sox fans used to be



New York Yankees

Team's Last Title:
2000 (clap clap clap-clap-clap)

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
LaTroy Hawkins
Mike Mussina
Alex Rodriguez
Bobby Abreu
Jason Giambi

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Alex Rodriguez belongs in right now obviously. But winning a ring would be the difference in reputation between say John Elway and Dan Marino.
It's easy to forget that Mike Mussina, Jason Giambi and Hideki Matsui are still ringless.
With exaggerated praise for champions in New York, a ring would look good on the fingers of Joba Chamberlain, Phil Hughes and Robinson Cano.
A fifth ring wouldn't hurt for Mariano Rivera, Derek Jeter and a fourth for Jorge Posada.
And winning a title as a manager after already winning a manager of the year gets Joe Girardi off to a good start.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Did someone say A-Rod?

Fan base's last title:
See The Mets

Who could root AGAINST them:
Did you see the musical "Damn Yankees"? Hating the Yankees isn't a new thing.

Outlook:
It's starting to sink into Yankee fans that maybe winning the World Series every year ISN'T their birthright. There is some long term hope for the Girardi era and right now the Yankee Universe is saying things like "Take a step back to take two forward." We'll see how well that sits with the new Steinbrenner regime come the trade deadline.



Oakland Athletics

Team's Last Title:
1989

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Eric Chavez
Mike Sweeney
Emil Brown

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
GM Billy Beane.
If Bobby Crosby and Rich Harden could stay healthy... God Forbid.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Billy Beane, who has volumes written about what a genius he is, yet his teams have yet to win a post season game past the first round.
Huston Street for coughing up the Magglio Ordonez shot

Fan base's last title:
1989 World Series

Who could root AGAINST them:
Giants fans who just want one of their own.
People sick of Billy Beane.

Outlook:
I've seen up close how passionate Oakland can be for their team. I've also seen empty seats at playoff games. I was in the Bay Area when the A's made it to the 2006 ALCS and there was zero buzz for it.

I'm sure A's fans want their team to win... but I am also sure they'd like to get an extra fortune cookie in the bag when they order Chinese. No pressure this year.



Philadelphia Phillies

Team's Last Title:
1980

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Tom Gordon
Jamie Moyer
Wes Helms
Geoff Jenkins

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Take a look at Jamie Moyer's career. A World Series title might really put him in the conversation.
The Phillies have 3 of the biggest young superstars in the game. If Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins and Chase Utley win a ring early, in Philadelphia no less, all they would have to do is pile up the stats to get in.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Mitch Williams.
Also every other Philly star since 1983 including Barkley, Iverson, Lindros and McNabb.

Fan base's last title:
1983 NBA Champion 76ers... they've made 3 Rocky films since then

Who could root AGAINST them:
Mets fans who don't want to hear it
Cleveland and Cubs fans who want company

Outlook:
Philadelphia has replaced Boston as the sports city near New York that is on the verge of a nervous breakdown. It's not just that they've lost title chances. They've blown titles with great stars on their team. This city needs a sports pick me up and one bigger than a Mark Wahlberg Eagles movie. This is Philly... if one of their teams doesn't win soon, someone might get whacked.



Pittsburgh Pirates

Team's Last Title:
1979

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Matt Morris
Chris Gomez

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Jason Bay and Freddie Sanchez are the best candidates here.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Sid Bream for scoring from second.

Fan base's last title:
2006 Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers

Who could root AGAINST them:
People attacked by actual pirates.

Outlook:
Look, Pittsburgh fans would like to see a World Series win. But I'm guessing the topic of conversation at the World Series would be the Steelers. The Steelers won a few years ago and the Penguins are good now. Don't worry Pirates you are out of the spotlight... why not take another 15 years to put a winning team on the field.



San Diego Padres

Team's Last Title
: Never won a World Series

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Trevor Hoffman
Glendon Rusch
Michael Barrett
Tony Clark
Brian Giles

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Anything less than a ring means Trevor Hoffman shouldn't be in
Greg Maddux doesn't need it, but it would look nice
An early ring for Jake Peavy would look nice with that Cy Young

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Trevor Hoffman for the Brosius homer... and almost single handedly keeping the Padres out of the playoffs last year

Fan base's last title:
Never had one

Who could root AGAINST them:
People who thought brown and yellow was an unforgivable combination

Outlook:
You'd think San Diego would be like Cleveland... a city starved for a sports title. But seriously look at that sentence again. In what way is San Diego like Cleveland? Where would YOU rather suffer as a sports fan?




San Francisco Giants

Team's Last Title
: 1954... as the New York Giants... don't remind my dad

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Steve Kline
Rich Aurillia
Ray Durham
Omar Vizquel
Randy Winn

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Barry Zito will need to win a ring to start earning that paycheck

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Willie McCovey for lining out to Richardson
Candy Maldonado for losing that ball in the lights in 1987
The San Andreas Fault for screwing up the 1989 World Series
Don Baylor for not playing his regulars at the end of 1993
Roberto Hernandez for screwing up the first two games of the 1997 Division Series
Robb Nen and the entire bullpen who blew a 7-0 lead on the last day that would have clinched a playoff spot.
Aaron Fultz for letting up a walk off shot to Benny Agbayani in the 2000 Division Series
Dusty Baker for handing the game ball to Russ Ortiz in the 2002 World Series
JT Snow for being thrown out at the plate in the 2003 Division Series
Steve Finley for hitting that division clinching grandslam in 2004.

Man, that's a big hook!

Fan base's last title:
1995 Super Bowl Champion 49ers

Who could root AGAINST them:
Dodger fans who care (both of them.)
Self righteous people who hate Bonds and don't realize he's no longer on the team

Outlook:
My dad's team is the most underrated suffering fan base in all of baseball. Since arriving in the Bay Area 50 years ago they have found ways to lose that even impress this Red Sox fan. San Francisco fans have seen 49er Super Bowls... but this place will go nuts for a Giants World Championship.




Seattle Mariners

Team's Last Title:
Never won a World Series

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Adrian Beltre
Miguel Cairo
Richie Sexson
Raul Ibanez
Jose Vidro

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Ichiro Suzuki might be in the Hall already, but wouldn't a ring lock it up?

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Lou Piniella, who couldn't win a pennant despite having A-Rod, Griffey Jr, Edgar Martinez, Randy Johnson, Jay Buhner and Jamie Moyer in their primes

Fan base's last title:
1979 NBA Champion SuperSonics.

Who could root AGAINST them:
People angry about the cost of Starbucks coffee.

Outlook:
Like Giants fans, Seattle fans are long suffering and never get the press for it. Maybe it's because they are way up in Seattle. Only Cleveland has waited longer for a title of any kind for a city with 3 or more teams. It's been nearly 3 decades since this city has had a parade. That's not right.



St. Louis Cardinals

Team's Last Title:
2006 (bet you forgot that)

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Russ Springer

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Albert Pujols doesn't need another ring, but how could it hurt?
Tony LaRussa also doesn't need one but I am sure wants one.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Tony LaRussa, who hasn't had a happy moment since winning the 2006 World Series

Fan base's last title:
2006 World Series... yes that happened

Who could root AGAINST them:
Cubs fans who are just sick of everything

Outlook:
Cardinal fans got their World Series win and lots of playoff appearances from LaRussa. That should satisfy them during what will be some rebuilding years. Cardinal fans are great fans, but so are Reds and Orioles fans. Don't stink for too long! They might not always show up!



Tampa Bay Rays

Team's Last Title:
Um... the team has yet to reach the 71 win mark in a season

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Trever Miller
Al Reyes

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Carl Crawford might put together a Hall of Fame career somewhere else.
Troy Percival has had an underrated career. Maybe not Hall of Fame, but another ring with be nice

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Whoever thought it was a good idea to put a team in Tampa Bay

Fan base's last title:
2004 Stanley Cup Champion Tampa Bay Lightning... like they cared.

Who could root AGAINST them:
Yankees and Red Sox fans who look forward to playing the Rays like kids look forward to Christmas morning.

Outlook:
Who knows? Can you believe it has been 10 years since the Devil Rays were vomitted onto the field and they have yet to win 71 games in a season. Who knows what their fan base is like or if they actually have one.



Texas Rangers

Team's Last Title:
Never won a World Series

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Eddie Guardado
Kevin Millwood
Frank Catalanotto

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Michael Young has had a nice career so far.
So has Hank Blalock
Everyone else on the team is 6 years old.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
George W. Bush... but don't get cocky. It doesn't get you off the hook for EVERYTHING

Fan base's last title:
1999 Stanley Cup Champion Dallas Stars
But who am I kidding, nobody cares about the Stars.... so let's just say 1996 Super Bowl Champion Dallas Cowboys

Who could root AGAINST them:
Democrats

Outlook:
This is Dallas... it's Cowboy country. I think the euphoria for a Rangers World Series title might last until the next Sunday.




Toronto Blue Jays

Team's Last Title:
1993

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Roy Halladay
Matt Sairs

Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Frank Thomas could actually play in a World Series.
Vernon Wells and Roy Halladay could use one.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
Whomever designed those god awful new uniforms

Fan base's last title:
1993 World Series

Who could root AGAINST them:
Xenophobes

Outlook:
It wasn't that long ago that the Blue Jays had one of the most rabid fan bases in all of baseball. I wonder if that was a novelty or a great team will capture the nation of Canada again. They would need either the Red Sox or the Yankees to collapse. This is as good a year as any to see.




Washington Nationals

Team's Last Title:
Never won a World Series

10 season+ veterans without a ring:
Odalis Perez
Paul LoDuca
Aaron Boone
Dmitri Young


Whose Hall of Fame resume needs a ring:
Paul LoDuca, Dmitri Young and Elijah Dukes could create a felon wing of the Hall.

Who will be let off the hook by winning a World Series:
The owners of the first Senators and the second Senators

Fan base's last title:
1988 Super Bowl won by the Redskins

Who could root AGAINST them:
Expos fans who still hate Rick Monday
Peter Angelos.

Outlook:
The only Washington World Series title was in 1923... with a new park, a new owner and a lousy league who knows what will happen this year. The fanbase is still too green right now for it to be real euphoria, but I bet there are some old Senator fans who will go nuts.



So there you have it.
Each team examined, each fanbase condescended to.

Let's get this season started already!

2 comments:

  1. deluca1:24 PM

    You're insane! Why didn't you put a famous female racing horse as your phillie symbol, you nut.

    And the gandhi and Reds thing were offensive to me.

    ReplyDelete
  2. deluca9:30 PM

    AND...

    you have to answer for this!

    http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2008/04/hawk_nest_remov.html

    ReplyDelete