Sunday, April 01, 2007

Stupidest Son in Law EVER

I always thought Carlo from "The Godfather" was the stupidest son in law of all time. All he had to do was not cheat on his wife, not beat Connie and not piss off Sonny and he'd have a sweet Corelone family job for life. Yeah, I know he wanted to be like Tessio or Clemenza, but he had a sweet gig.

And he blew it and got strangled in the driveway. Pretty stupid son in law.

But let's tip our hat to baseball's answer to Carlo... Steve Swindal, George Steinbrenner's son in law and heir to the Yankee throne.

Actually now put "soon to be ex" in front of both of those titles.

Steinbrenner's daughter has filed for divorce based on "irreconcilable differences" with a DUI charge looking like the last straw.

Did this guy blow the greatest male dream position in history or what?

He was going to run a sports team... the secret (or not so secret) of every sports fan I know. "If I ran the team, this would change, that would change, the manager would be out, this player would be gone, we'd serve Mr. Pibb instead of Coke."

HE'D BE THAT GUY! He could do that! Hell if wanted Hooter girls to wait on people in the front row.... BOOM! It's done!
(A note on that, watch a game at Toronto and try to concentrate on the game. The waitresses behind home plate are unbelievably hot. No wonder they haven't made the playoffs since winning the 1993 World Series. I'd be distracted too if I pitched there. But I digress.)

And he'd not just run any sports team... yeah it would be cool to run the Devil Rays or the Pirates... until the moment that a player asks for more than $5.50 an hour and you realize you can't do it, trade them off and piss off the fanbase.

This is the Yankees. This is a team with no limit to the budget. You CAN run it like a Fantasy League team. You want Pujols? Santana? Manny Ramirez? Sign em up!

You want cool Old Timers to hang out with? There's Yogi! There's Reggie! There's Whitey!

You want to be the coolest daddy or grand dad in the world? Have Jeter and Rivera show up at the birthday party. In uniform! Beats the hell out of a pony ride!

You get all of that...

All you have to do is not piss off your wife.
Hell, I try not to piss off my wife so I can WATCH a game! If I knew control of the crown jewel of baseball franchises (and this is coming from a Red Sox fan!) was mine if I was a dutiful husband, I'd let myself be henpecked beyond recognition.

She could watch Grey's Anatomy all day, decorate the house anyway she wanted, have me eat whatever food she wanted, pull the reigns in on me and I'd take it all like a man!

Oh yeah, if I got drunk... I'D CALL A CAB!

But good ole Steve couldn't do it. And soon he'll have as much power in the Yankee heirarchy as Vinnie from Westchester calling up WFAN.

Way to go Steve! Bet that taxi service doesn't sound that expensive now!


  1. If you got drunk?

    I feel the readers of Sully baseball dot com deserve an explanation, here.

  2. Funny stuff. Maybe his daughter wants to run the team? Or maybe you can now convince GS to adopt you?