Monday, September 08, 2008

A-Rod just can't win

I don't often feel bad for Alex Rodriguez, but sometimes I can't help it.

The Yankees lost 5-2 to the always tough Mariners and slipped into 4th place (tee hee).

Someone asked him about the Blue Jays passing them in the standings and A-Rod tried his best to be diplomatic, praising the Toronto pitching staff and saying "a lot of people should be happy they're not in the playoff race."

Then reporters acted like Sam Waterston catching a witness in a lie on an episode of Law and Order.

"A ha! So if the Blue Jays aren't in it... and they are ahead of the Yankees, what does that say about the Yankees... and I will remind you that are under oath."

You could see A-Rod struggling with the SAT problem as he basically became Chevy Chase in that Jerry Ford debate sketch.

"It was my understanding that there would be no math."

And my how the papers ripped him as if he told a bunch of kids there was no Santa Claus or as if he stood up at the RNC and said "The Bible is a series of poorly translated allegories."

Yeah, the Yankees are out of it.
And if you don't think so, then YOU are out of it.

But no matter what he said, he was screwed.
He was in one of those pickles that husbands find themselves in where no matter what they say, they'd have to apoligize to the wife. (Something A-Rod doesn't have to do anymore.)

If A-Rod had said "We're still in it" people would have bashed him

If A-Rod had said "I'm not even looking at the standings" people would have bashed him

If A-Rod said "I just cured cancer, made the Palestinians and Israelis find common ground, invented a cheap renewable energy source, found a way to make education and health care affordable and I am donating $10 million a year to help rebuild New Orleans and another $10 million a year to bring children of Sudan into a new environment where they will have food, shelter, education and a chance..."

People would say "Yeah, but he never won a ring!"

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