Friday, September 05, 2008
How badly do Ken Griffey Jr and Jim Thome want to kill Carlos Quentin?
As if the Sox didn't have enough troubles.
They didn't take advantage of the Twins miserable stretch during the Republican Convention and now have to face a tough pennant stretch without their MVP candidate.
I wonder if Ken Griffey Jr and Jim Thome took Carlos Quentin aside.
THOME: Kid, let's talk.
QUENTIN: (referring to Griffey) I thought he was called Kid.
GRIFFEY: I'm 38 years old. Nobody this close to 40 should be called a kid.
THOME: Let me ask you something, how many homers do you have in your career?
THOME: 50? How cute. Hey Griffey, did you ever hit 50 homers?
GRIFFEY: Yeah. In 1997 and 1998. I hit 40 in 1994 when the season was cut short by nearly 2 months.
THOME: Yeah I hit 52 homers... in 2002.
GRIFFEY: You see we've been doing this for a while. In fact I broke into the bigs when you were 7 years old.
QUENTIN: I know. I grew up idolizing you.
[Griffey stares him down.]
THOME: You are best off listening right now.
GRIFFEY: Look, I have been doing this for 20 seasons.
THOME: This is my 18th.
GRIFFEY: And I don't have many more chances at a ring. I had the misfortune of running into Thome's Indians in 1995 and we stumbled against Baltimore in '97 and I haven't even sniffed the Post Season since.
THOME: And I had the misfortune of being on a team that had Jose Mesa as a closer.
THOME: Exactly, and I arrived in Chicago a year after their title. I've got 537 homers.
GRIFFEY: I'm at 609. We're both rehearsing our Cooperstown speech... but it would be nice to have a ring before hanging them up.
THOME: It would be grand.
GRIFFEY: And it would be cool to have our MVP candidate not break HIS OWN F---ING WRIST IN SEPTEMBER IN THE MIDDLE OF A PENNANT RACE!
THOME: Look, Cliff Lee is a good pitcher. So striking out to him isn't terrible. But if you feel compelled to punch your own wrist, take the bat out of your hand. It will decrease the chances of breaking your wrist in the middle of a pennant race. Consider that a tip from your pal Jim.
QUENTIN: Um... thanks.
GRIFFEY: IF I RETIRE RINGLESS I WILL BEHEAD YOU!
THOME: I'd run if I were you, Carlos.
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