Yeah I watch American Idol.
What are you going to do about it? It's not like I'm alone.
Plus it's a show my wife and I and my two kids all watch together. It's what The Love Boat and Lawrence Welk used to be, so get off of my back
So I don't think I am alone when I say "The Hell?" based on last night's show.
You have one guy who oozes charisma, stage prescience, knocks every song out of the park and can walk down a stair with smoke billowing everywhere better than Bela Lugosi. And let's see Lugosi do that while singing Mad World.
Yeah he wore make up and was a little bit flaming.
Did that prevent people from loving Elton John? David Bowie? Prince? ANYONE besides Springsteen in the 1980s?
So who gets voted in. The nondescript white guy. A guy who I can't remember a single one of his performances.
He seems like a nice enough guy (at least it wasn't the jaw droppingly obnoxious Danny Gokey) but if someone else had to win, why not Allison? The sweet 16 year old with the pink hair who got her start singing to furniture.
I hope it isn't homophobia. I mean I am sure that is part of it, but I think most of the people who vote are either teen age girls (or my wife.) And I also think that they vote based on who they fall in love with.
And maybe the teenage girls all realized that "Hey, I don't really have a shot with Adam."
As the brilliant Chris DeLuca pointed out, it takes a very bad Gay-dar to think any woman is going to perk Adam's attention.
Family Guy writer and fellow member of the Weston Mass. little league Alec Sulkin equated America picking Kris Allen over Adam with the Trailblazers picking Sam Bowie over Jordan.
And my lunatic friend Nick Stevens, creator of Townie News, compared Kris' win over Adam to Crash winning the Best Picture Oscar over Brokeback Mountain.
That's a little harsh because Crash was a steaming pile of crap and Kris is just forgettable, but I can see where he was coming from.
Oh well. At least Adam won't have to sing that crappy song Kara wrote.
Either way, Kris has shown all future Idol contenders how to play it in a way that would make Machiavelli proud:
Lay low the first few rounds and let the people who are in over their head weed themselves out.
(Sayonara Anoop, Miguel and the blonde girl with all the tattoos.)
Then let the feel good stories wear out. (Adios blind guy, Anoop and the leather neck guy.)
And don't make any stupid decisions when the front runners stub their toes. (Lil Rounds, Allison and Gokey all peaked too early.)
Then bust out your A game and suddenly you are the new fun person to root for.
Either way, my wife has sworn off of the show now. She tried to use a baseball analogy with me.
"Remember how I followed the Red Sox the first year we got married? (2003.) Remember what happened how they fell apart? It's like that! I don't need to go through that again."
I reminded her that they won the World Series the very next year.
I'll be there for the auditions when the next season begins.
It's how I am built.
OK, I promise I'll refrain from Reality TV talk... at least until Project Runway starts up!